What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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.....Carrot Top....

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops