- Anti Joke

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

want more?

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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