Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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