Jimmy Saville

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...