What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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knock knock... ...no answer

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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