Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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