How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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