Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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ugvvvvvv

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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