There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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