To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops