Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops