a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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this website is a bad joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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