Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops