How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops