Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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