A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

like most people my age. im 27

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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