Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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