Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops