why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's blue? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chris Bosh's neck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops