Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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