Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops