Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Your girlfriend.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops