If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

knock knock who's there? hope

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

LeBron in the fourth quarter

Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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