How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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