What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops