So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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9/11

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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