why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops