Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What city likes baseball the most? New York

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops