What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

thumb_up thumb_down +3

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops