What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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I'm tired.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops