What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Good job, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops