You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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