So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops