Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is 3+3= 8

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guest what? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops