You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Basically

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deez nuts

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops