RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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