If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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The FCC

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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