- Anti Joke

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

Knock knock Go away

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Find the m nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 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nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 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nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 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nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn There is no m

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

João Duarte reads this.

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

diarrhea.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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