Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

Im taking a shit right now.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

who is really lanky? james cornish

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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