What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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