Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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