Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Mogok Papiti.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +22

TRICERATOPS!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops