One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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