How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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