Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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LOL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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call me maybe.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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