What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Kyle grund parker coffey

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops