Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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One time i was sitting down

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops