I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...