I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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You were born.

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David Cameron

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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