What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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