If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops