What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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