Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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